Detachment Recap

Detachment is one of the core sessions that AWiB facilitates for its members. The young and vibrant Samrawit Meressa led the session, starting by sharing her journey in AWiB. She described her path from being a member to having the prestigious role of president. To warm things up, she gave the audience a chance to introduce themselves and discuss what detachment means in their context. The audience’s response to what detachment is was a bit fuzzy, with most simply defining it as avoiding and denying the existence of a certain situation.

Samrawit defined detachment as the act of seeing or getting yourself unattached from feelings, materials, and people around you. It is an art of being unapologetically yourself. Usually, attachment creates thoughts of not being able to function without the things we value the most, such as our life partner, family, job, and the associated feelings. However, we need to pause and reflect on how we react to living without these valuable things. Reflecting in this way will help us trace the source of our attachment. Oftentimes, attachment is caused by the way we were raised and the scenarios we experienced growing up. Understanding the roots and types of our attachment will help us practice detachment.

There are four styles of attachment:

  1. Anxious attachment: Individuals with this style of attachment have an intense fear of rejection or feelings of unworthiness. They tend to seek recognition in everything they do, which can create obstacles in relationships.
  2. Secure attachment: This attachment style develops when you grow up in a comfortable environment where everyone around you is protective and you reciprocate the same. People with this type of attachment may appear secure, but they often face negative thoughts that disrupt their lives.
  3. Avoidant attachment: People with this attachment style are usually raised with insufficient attention or care. They tend to hide their feelings and are emotionally distant.
  4. Disorganized attachment: This style of attachment is classified as the most extreme form of insecure attachment. Individuals with this style seek and pursue loving relationships but suddenly lash out.

Major Takeaways:

  • The things we are attached to can control us.
  • Many of our attachment issues stem from our childhood.
  • Journaling plays a key role in being conscious and understanding the source of our attachments.
  • Being connected and attached are different. The former creates a mutual space, while the latter closes the space.
  • Asking about the past helps us understand, not blame ourselves or others. It aids in understanding the origins of our attachments.
  • Spiritual development helps us detach ourselves from material possessions.
  • Loving, caring, and attaching to some degree is natural, but we need to be aware of our actions and set boundaries.

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