Circle of Braids by Lemon Fee

To be loved is to be known; to be understood. I regard myself lucky to have built relationships that add to my growth and feed my emotional components. For me, it is a significant need to be understood – more than the need to be loved. Although, they go hand in hand. As a woman, I value the relationships I have with my sisters and my girlfriends. Besides magically syncing our menstruation, It is amazing to witness how we instinctually know to nourish each other and be a safe space to share each other’s deepest thoughts, desires, and pain.

It is not always rainbows and sunshine and we don’t usually spend our time braiding each other’s hair in a sundress – that never happens. It is deep and vulnerable, involving a meticulous self-assessment going back and forth touching millions of topics unequivocally going with the flow. ultimately, you end up feeling better or worse – the necessary evil spoon-feeds you the ugly truth you ought to hear. That’s the thing about female friendships, they hit you where it hurts then fix you your favorite drink after. And it is all worth it.

One of my favorite things is having quality time with women around me. It does not take me too much energy to convey my point across and be on the same wavelength, in the moment. This usually does not happen with the men in my life, even though I appreciate their efforts to relate. There is an unspoken understanding that makes it so easy to bond, especially with those I have had the privilege to unpack my inner self with. At times, I get plagued with a ‘vulnerability hangover’ that tends to last a while. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels somehow bad for oversharing my personal life. It comes from a deep desire to maintain control over what other people know about us, even loved ones. When that happens, we just have to ask ourselves, are these people going to handle us with care? Have we built trust in this relationship?

Finding joy in girlhood is easily satisfying. We tend to enjoy the same things. Between going shopping or getting our nails done together, we find solace while creating an abiding sisterhood. To be loved is to be known, all the little things we do to make each other comfortably and loved is what life is all about. Knowing that each of us has a place to go to when we need a pep talk, a hug, or maybe a slap is gratifying. PS. I want to take a moment to appreciate my loved ones, as I am a hard cookie to crack.

Written by: Ruth Mekasha

Share with your circles!