Happy Ethiopian New Year to you all!
The past year proved to be the ultimate experience in the accomplishments I achieved, along with the challenges that I was presented with. I managed to pick myself up from the slum I was in after Covid hit the prior year and began to find myself anew, yet again. School re-opened, thank God—and I mean thank God!—because my child and I were about to kill each other. With my firstborn at school again, and my at-home-teaching duties taken care of, I was able to find me, once again … face-to-face with myself.
Thus began the internal work of, once again, motivating and inspiring myself regardless of the fact that I had no true direction as to where my life was headed and no actual idea of what I wanted to do now in this next chapter of my life. I slowly began to drive again, to mingle and to socialize again—and I mean speaking in adult language, using adult words and not the mumbling conversations I was so accustomed to with my babies. I began to dress up again, setting my pjs and sweats to the side, I began to move and for lack of better wording, breathe, once again.
One of the reasons I love AWiB is her silent reminder to continue to work on yourself. And I have never stopped. I might have paused in between while I allowed myself to go through the confusions of where my life was headed and managing ways to revamp my confidence. But blessed as I am, and yes, I said blessed, because I realized and internalized this year, that the word lucky, was and is to never be in my vocabulary ever again. I attain nothing to luck anymore, but to mere and simple blessings instead. Take it as you will. So, to continue, as blessed as I am, I landed a dream job, and when I tell you a dream job, I mean just that. I never saw it coming, but the universe, as you know, is cleverly sneaky like that. She will have you praying and begging and manifesting what you truly want and then one day, BAM! Smack you straight in your face with your dream like, “Okay so you asked for this, right? What are going to do about it, now?” And believe me when I tell you that I ran with it. I took the opportunity and sprinted forward.
I allowed myself to be sacred and nervous of the decision I had just decided to take. Wishing for something that is not there yet and attaining the reality of it, once acquired, are two very different waves of emotions. I was excited with my interview; I nailed my interview with the help of my close friend. But then after the background music of the excitement that was running through my bloodstream stooped, I was left with the silence within, the conversations with myself. Just what did I agree to and what was I thinking? Where had I found such confidence to believe I could partake in such a challenge? These internal questions played in my mind; I felt like a ping pong game was actually being played within. I would bounce off from confidence to nervousness and hop to pure fear.
I started simple routines to get myself back on my positive thinking attitude and mental fitness, one of them being listening to different talks and speeches. I landed upon a couple of motivational speakers who repeatedly spoke about allowing yourself to be a fool in the realm of new waters. Allow yourself to be foolish and un-knowing; allow yourself to be embarrassed and to fall. The reason is to allow yourself to learn how to actually be in that given new situation. That if we do not permit ourselves to make fools of ourselves, we cannot and will not reach our fullest potentials. That if it doesn’t work out the 1st time or the10th, and if we do not continue to push forth, we will never see the 100th or 1000th time’s achievement guaranteed given to us by right of the Universal law of consistence, persistence, and attraction.
You know me and my signs. If every video that pops up on my YouTube for my morning motivation speaks of allowing yourself to fail in order to succeed…. If everything I hear is that we should not face our fears cowardly but instead with courageous optimism or else risk never breaking our walls of comfort…. Then there’s got to be something Ms. Universe is sending my way to listen to. So, I did just that. I listened. I decided to allow my internal fool’s persona envelope my being and I went into my new venture headfirst with my confident foolishness.
First, I found myself terrified of being so vulnerable, of being sort of a con. Because that is what I thought to myself. How could I have agreed to such a position? Who was I to say I knew what I was doing when I knew that I had no actual educational background, but only the inner most desire to do so? Instead of staying stuck in that fear, I slowly accepted the fool inside of me. I fell in love with her sheer confidence to try what she had never done solely based on her passion for it and the belief in herself of her capability to do so. Only when I accepted my fool did I begin to find my beautiful self in a world I had only dreamed of.
I put myself out there and showed up every single day to make mistakes and to bravely let myself ask of others what I did not know of myself. I allowed myself to be a fool in order to unmask my true self and to unleash my own hidden potential, even those of which I did not know lay within me. I still continue to unmask myself as I step into the person I was meant to be, into the person I want to be.
And so, when thinking of this new year, I thought that is what I would share with my readers; my little bit on exposing yourself as the fool you are when it comes to anything new your life. Let it be; don’t fight or resist the urge to want to know everything or accomplish success overnight. The process of unmasking yourself is a wonderful journey that can prove to be one that can strengthen your will and determination to reach that goal or target you have set for yourself. Remember that no one on top reached there without being fools first.
Welcome your fool this new year and may all the experiences you wish for come your way in ways you did not expect but are willing to go through to unmask your greatness.
Be a fool!