We’ve been told to silence the inner critic that voice whispering we’re not good enough, not ready, not worthy. But most of us know that doesn’t work. When the voice returns, we shame ourselves for not being stronger, more confident, more “leader-like.” And just like that, we spiral.

But what if the inner critic isn’t a saboteur, but a misguided protector?

High achievers often carry the harshest internal dialogue. In fact, a 2023 survey of senior leaders showed that 97% had questioned their leadership abilities, and over half did so regularly. This inner voice is rarely random. It’s shaped by early experiences, cultural pressure, and past environments where being hard on ourselves felt like the only path to safety or success.

Neuroscience now supports this: our inner critic is often a protective part of us. It uses shame and fear not to hurt us, but to shield us from failure, embarrassment, or pain. The problem isn’t that we hear this voice—it’s how we respond to it.

So what can we do instead of silencing it?

1. Trace the origin: Understand where the voice came from. Whose voice does it echo? What was it trying to protect you from?

2. Separate the method from the message: There’s usually a valid fear beneath the criticism. Engage it with curiosity: “What are you trying to prevent?”

3. Create distance. Give your critic a name or persona. Dialogue with it rather than letting it run the show.

4. Lead with compassion. Replace self-judgment with kindness. “This is hard and I’m still worthy of care.”

5. Rewrite the script. Teach your critic a new language. Swap “You’ll fail” for “Let’s prepare well.” Turn fear into guidance.

You don’t need to banish your inner critic. You need to lead it.

The strongest leaders aren’t the ones without self-doubt—they’re the ones who’ve learned how to listen to that voice with compassion, challenge it with wisdom, and move forward anyway. When you change how you relate to your inner critic, you change how you lead.

Source: https://hbr.org/2025/05/dont-silence-your-inner-critic-talk-to-it

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