Digital Illustration by Carlotta Notaro

Before Computers and digital games, a third-grader’s joy came from story time. I was one of those students who relished listening to the teacher’s captivating tales. I remember a specific story one of my favorite teachers told us. He narrated a story about King Solomon of Israel. Solomon is portrayed as wealthy, and powerful, most of all Wise- ‘the wisest man who ever lived.’ People came from all over the world to him seeking his counsel. He is perhaps best remembered for his shrewd judgment in a dispute between two women over a baby.

When the two mothers both claimed the child as their own, Solomon proposed splitting the baby in half to determine the true parent. While the real mother immediately relinquished her claim to save the child’s life, the other woman agreed to the extreme measure. Pretty clever, I thought. I imagined how amazing and uncomplicated the King’s life would be, and how easily he solved whatever came his way. Contrary to my initial belief, I was mistaken.

In actuality, King Solomon was perhaps like every other ordinary man. Even though his wisdom was unparalleled with an element of an intellectual gift, he was not devoid of mistakes and wrong turns which in the long run led to the failure of his kingdom and his personal life. Hence, the psychological phenomenon ‘Solomon’s Paradox.’

Why is it that we tend to reason more wisely about other people’s problems than our own? We’ve all been there; we find ourselves in ‘guru’ mode when our friends and family consult us about a dire situation they’re in. It is easy to sit and speak about a situation objectively. However, when we experience a situation firsthand, we are apt to internalize, overthink, and get stuck in indecisiveness. It’s like our emotions cloud our judgment completely.

The concept of Solomon’s paradox compelled me to unpack and reacquaint myself with the paradigm itself. A specific book came to mind; Oprah’s audiobook ‘What I Know for Sure.’In one of the chapters, She described a situation where she readily celebrated and understood the challenges faced by her friends, yet struggled to extend the same compassion to her own situation. But then, she consciously shifted her perspective, asking how she would advise a loved one going through a similar issue.

It resonated with me; how often do we give ourselves the same courtesy and understanding we repeatedly give other people? Through zoomed-out point of view and understanding comes a crystal clear remedy to approach our ‘sophisticated’ challenges. Who would have thought that having the ability to step back from the situation and think about it from a wider perspective would give us an advantage in empathizing and having a clearer sense of awareness? Instead of chiming, and turning a once coherent thought or idea for the sake of clarity. Psychological distance, it seems is the antidote to Solomon’s paradox.

Written by: Ruth Mekasha

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