Leadership is doing the work when no one is watching and trusting the process of growth.

  – Issa Rae

Art by Dangdrewit

When I imagine a leader, I think of someone stern, upright, unwavering in his ways- someone like my father. Quite stereotypical.

But turns out, my mother was[ and is ] also a leader; in the way she makes our house a home, in her quiet ability to make a million small decisions that made our life a million times better.  

How do you picture a leader to be?

Leaders do not overpower- they enhance your voice. The less loud they are, the more they listen, understand, and communicate with depth. Leadership is not a simple venture, and not everyone can do it[ unless they make a very active choice to question their own character and strive to be better.] and ironically, leaders don’t need an audience- their work is deeply intrinsic.

The hardest person I’ve ever led is me. To lead myself back to clarity, self-respect, and softness, cause lord knows I am the harshest on myself. That is why I strive every day to give myself grace and understanding because I know how much strength it takes to lead with kindness, especially towards myself.

 Everything is interconnected in the grand scheme of things. Self-leadership becomes the basket that holds the important abstracts- self-love, worth, confidence, discipline.

Everyone wants to lead others,  but have we ever tried leading ourselves out of a bad habit? Or out of bed? Undoubtedly, self-leadership is brutal cause let’s be honest, no one claps for you, promotes you, and yet, it’s the most important position you’ll ever hold.

Because if you can’t hold yourself through your own chaos, how can you lead anything else- not love, not work or business, not even your next version of yourself? How can we trust ourselves in anything that we do, always looking for validation or a second opinion, even to make personal choices?

So maybe leadership isn’t about titles or visibility at all. Maybe it’s about the subtle power to redirect yourself every time you drift. To choose honesty over comfort. To rebuild your sense of self, even when no one’s watching, especially when no one is watching.

The intentionality of our everyday actions dictates whether we can lead ourselves and others. If not, we risk projecting our insecurities and shortcomings on other people who are doing the actual work, those who are not afraid to look cringy and desperate. Those who genuinely want to be better in every way.

Therefore, when you lead yourself with intention, you unconsciously permit others to do the same. You stop trying to control, and start to inspire. You listen better, love gently, and live more aligned. In other words, you become the best version of yourself for yourself and others.

Ps. A fulfilled person supports and leads others. I hope we become just that.

Written by: Ruth Mekasha